The world of Linuxia beckons you! Your annoying guide flexes their gear the moment you spawn

Gentoo USB (Rare):
=> USE flags: Can rebuild itself
   with or without the other
   three attributes
=> March native: Increases attack
   speed by 1% or -1%
=> Slot: Can use two versions of any
   attribute at the same time
=> PGO: The USB memorizes when you
   attack to increase speed, trading
   off for lower speed elsewhen.
   Requires two rebuilds.

Charm of systemd (common):
=> nspawn: Can build with deeper focus
=> Wisdom tax: The wise are less
   likely to feel neutral toward you
   (+2 or -2 charisma)
=> Chant of systemd: By chanting
'systemd-analyze calendar "Fri *-*-13"',
   the caster instantly knows when
   the next Friday the 13th is.

Let’s have some fun! Spells, items, and dungeons oh my!

  • The 8232 Project@lemmy.ml
    10·
    5 months ago

    I have [Ancient] Debian Armor and a GNOME as my companion. I often equip the Tor Browser Cloak of Invisibility. If slain, I will drop a Locked KeePassXC Database Chest. After completing the mission Revive bricked Linux system, I was awarded with the [Rare] Ego Potion. When drunk, it boosts all stats temporarily during a battle.

    • MyNameIsRichard@lemmy.ml
      5·
      5 months ago

      Sorry to be pedantic, but if you can revive it then it wasn’t really bricked. Depending on how bad it was it was still worth the [Rare] ego item 🧑‍🌾

  • OzoneGameDev@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    5 months ago

    Blue fedora (uncommon)

    • +10 armor
    • +5 speed

    Wand of btrfs (epic)

    • snapshot: saves your current inventory
    • restore (passive): on death restotes your inventory to a state saved by the snapshot spell

    Ring of gnomes (common)

    • summons up to 3 gnomes when health is below 10%
    • fool@programming.devOP
      2·
      5 months ago

      Hmmm… shaw to you too, shark fucker 420

      Charm of Kingsoul (rare):
=> No cost too great:
   User mana slowly refills
   while using an
   uncommon init system.
   Buffs from charm of
   systemd become negative.
=> No mind to think: Charm
   uses 5 inventory slots, but
   gives +1 WIS on wisdom saves
=> No will to break: User can
   choose to sacrifice charm
   and obtain Void Heart.
  • I Cast Fist@programming.dev
    41·
    5 months ago

    For some reason, I cannot git ye shell. All my attempts to bash my way through anything fail miserably as well.

    This weird Grub on a boot keeps showing up and blocking my path.

    Fuck this game >:(

  • The 8232 Project@lemmy.ml
    2·
    5 months ago

    Quest: Kali Bandits

    The Kali have been terrorizing villages across Linuxia. I beg you, young traveler, help us fight them off. I’ll reward you with riches beyond compare!

    Objective: Protect the village from the Kali bandits.

    Reward: +500 gold

    • fool@programming.devOP
      2·
      5 months ago

      Our party peers over the gate and sees…

      Kali Bandit (Level 3)

      A script kiddie. Lots spawn at once.

      STR: 3 (+7 during practice combat)
      DEX: 3
      CON: 5 (-4 when angry)
      INT: 4
      WIS: 1
      CHA: 1

      Kali Mercenary (Level 9)

      Uses Kali for work. Well-balanced, but weakened because the company hasn’t had a security incident anyway.

      STR: 8 (+15 when fighting Kali Bandit)
      DEX: 9
      CON: 10 (-2 when teammate gets phished)
      INT: 12
      WIS: 12
      CHA: 8 (-2 when dealing with the one paying for them)

      17 year old with Amazon fire stick (Level 12)

      The judge prohibited them from touching computers.

      STR: 7 (+3 if he gets SSH running…)
      DEX: 8
      CON: 12 (+1 from the big house)
      INT: 16
      WIS: 7
      CHA: 9 (-2 when dealing with Nvidia)

  • lengau@midwest.social
    2·
    5 months ago
    • Armour class: Apparmor (common)
      • App confinement (+1 defence against app security issues)
    • Glamour: Breezy plasma (common)
    • Jewellery: Snappy apps (common)
      • Rolling release apps with a stable base
      • Ability to use multiple versions of any snappy app simultaneously
  • Feathercrown@lemmy.worldEnglish
    2·
    5 months ago

    Curse of NixOS

    Immutable Distro - When making a roll, if the previous roll did not use this feature, you may use the dice value of the last roll you made.

    Highly Configurable - You can swap one piece of equipment per turn as a free action.

    Flake or Vanilla? - You must succeed on a DC 20 WIS save once every hour or be compelled to spend that hour respeccing your equipment loadout and retraining your skills, in an attempt to achieve the elusive state known as “best practice”.

  • warmaster@lemmy.world
    2·
    5 months ago

    Bazzite region of Linuxia

    As you stumble upon the neon-lit realm of the gaming regions of Linuxia, an NPC tosses you a gleaming ISO volume of wisdom.

    Bootable Amulet of Bazzite (Rare) => Frame Surge: Boosts performance by 15% of all inventory in the Wayland dimension. => Steam Incantation: Casts “Protonic assimilation” for all loot in unexplored dungeons (+2 compatibility). => Artifact of Immutability: Auto-repairs equipment after a dungeon raid. => Weakness - Package Curse: Outside the gaming regions, productivity wanes (-2 chances of legendary packages when opening chests).

    Spell: Vulkan Forge (Uncommon) => Instantly summons Vulkan-powered rendering. => Can crit for +20 FPS, but may randomly glitch on older drivers (-1 stability).

    Dungeon: Library of Protonic Lore => Encounter: Boss-level incompatible game. => Loot: XP towards seamless gaming or… disappointment (roll d20).

    Will you flash, or roll a crash?

    • fool@programming.devOP
      1·
      5 months ago

      Vulkan Forge is such a name, I’m surprised no software has taken it

      btw u gotta add double spaces after line skips to make it a real line skip