What are the chances that this question came from Uranus?

One million to one

Zero.

My tinfoil hat theory that is all in jest is that Mars was “First Earth” and it got real fucked up and anything that was there got wiped out and what we see now is all that’s left of it.

Apart from a slim opportunity of one of the robots we put up there coming back in the future it currently stands at 0% we would know by now if something other than robots was on mars