I won a micro. It’s an award for the smallest penis from a randomly selected group of 10,000 men.

My university residence floor graced me with the “Most likely to jump onto the tacks to save someone even if he knows he’ll be killed in the process”.

Most Flatulent, though the jury is still out on if whey protein counts as a performance enhancing drug in this case

I have a “certificate of memorization” sitting somewhere because I attended an all-boys religious summer camp and memorized bunch of prayers and they were like “well we gotta reward something.”

Despite it being “all-boys,” they misgendered me on the certificate. It now doubles as a “I looked and sounded exactly like a girl in middle-school” certificate.