Family

You’d think this dumb cunt could just fuck off and enjoy her fortune, but no

Go to school

My favorite experience in Paris was going around and buying items for a picnic and having it on the lawn in front of the Eiffel Tower at sunset, it was amazing.

People are disappointing, even family

That dog needs a new owner

Broke my wrist by blocking a gigantic remote control car flying directly at me at 50 MPH and I was the person controlling it.

Fuck The World by ICP, specifically the Richard Cheese cover - Fuck The World

Something like that

My new angel, a 2 year old female 6 pound spayed chihuahua, humps her toys like she owes them money. I guess I’m just glad she’s getting extra cardio. Still awkward AF when we lock eyes.

Bill Hick’s Rant in E Minor

George Carlin

Mitch Hedberg

Bill Burr

Wanda Sykes

Meekrob

Those sound like poor people problems

My inner child died of dysentery many moons ago

#include <iostream> using namespace std;

int main() { char procrastinated;

cout << "Did you procrastinate? (y/n): ";
cin >> procrastinated;

if (procrastinated == 'y' || procrastinated == 'Y') {
    cout << "You procrastinated! Remember, study earlier next time to avoid the stress!" << endl;
} else {
    cout << "Good job staying on track! Keep it up!" << endl;
}

return 0;

}

No pain, no gain.

Got rhabdomyolysis from working out too hard, that saying is crap.

They’re trying to suck out the andrenochrome

No HOA thankfully. I’d paint my house with big, veiny, throbbing dicks if I thought it’d do the trick.

When I was a young lad I thought milk was cow pee and was super confused by the world.

The only way to defeat a dick is a bigger, floppier, girthier dick