“umm… Yes?”

Anyone but my lying eyes.

Probably that dude that said he’s got a bridge he wants to sell. I’m looking to invest.

Sugar, spice, and caltrops.

Why talk about yourself like that?

I mean it’s completely true, and you should absolutely fuck right off.

I could fight every kangaroo on the planet.

I wouldn’t win, but I could fight them.

Is it red wine and a Mediterranean diet?

Pretty much the same as my “retirement” plan. Find a pressure regulator, a tank of nitrogen, an airtight helmet, and fabricate my way out of existence.

Unfortunately it seems so

Not so fun fact: the constitution allows for slavery as long as it’s a punishment for a crime.

Hmmm… Nah, those dots don’t connect at all.