“I’m not old! I’m three thousand and seven!”

At the end of Elf, Buddy and Jovie have made babby.

Are you implying that I’m going to get impregnated by the books?

Because I’m not necessarily saying no to that.

Also keep an eye out for people complaining about “globalists” and “coastal elites” because you’ll find that the majority of the time, that means Jews.

The page Philosophy loops back to itself via the twelve-article chain of Existence, Reality, Universe, Space, Three-dimensional space, Geometry, Mathematics, Theory, Reason, Consciousness, Awareness, Philosophy.

Looks like he’s trying to avoid the Helvetica Scenario.

I definitely assume that Palmetto Cheese is just ground-up palmetto bugs.

It’s worth pointing out that in Maine, which has instant runoff voting, it was the Republicans who most aggressively opposed its implementation and sued to try to reverse the results of an instant runoff election that they lost. The voting system needs to be repaired, but even within the system as it exists, there is one party that has a proven track record of actively trying to make it worse.

SLXPLOVS

I’ve only ever found one zip-up hoodie with decent insulation and pockets deep enough that my phone won’t fall out of them if I’m not careful, and you better believe I’m taking good care of it.

He became the devil.

My mom once gave me a cat litter scoop like this one

in my Christmas stocking. This was not, to my knowledge, in the context of a conversation about needing to clean up after the cat more often, but for all I know it was her way of subtly trying to get the point across.

Pinatas

The tape they stretch across race finish lines

Karate dojo boards

I loved swordfish steak the one time I had it, so I’d bet that Scylla, Charybdis, or the Kraken would be quite good.

Oh, also The Kraken is quite tasty.

I love sitting neck-deep in an outdoor hot tub on a cold day!

One time in high school, I heard somebody yell “Steve, you [bundle of sticks], stop talking to your girlfriend and let’s go!” and Steve was in fact at the time talking to his girlfriend.

The sheer concentration of cognitive dissonance has stuck with me to this day.

Instructions unclear. Got God diagnosed with lead poisoning

Well, that certainly explains the platypus!

Colorado River toad: ₍𝄐 ̫͡ 𝄐₎

Humanity: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Oh, I’ve got fucking Cold urticaria. My body takes it personally if I go swimming in cold water, or don’t wear a heavy sweatshirt on a chilly day, or God forbid if my sheets are just a little bit cold and I’m not wearing wrist-to-ankle pajamas. It fucking sucks, and it didn’t even develop until I was in my thirties, so it’s not as if this something that I learned to live with so early that it’s second nature to me now. FUCK my fucking cold-activated histamines.

Treat your taste kindly with KENT, the cigarette with the NEW Micronite filter!

^^Micronite ^^is ^^asbestos.