And here we see Professor Moonmoon about to espouse his latest theories on goodboi theory.

Scientific reproduction, as in reproduction of a study XD

So, hear me out here, there is a huge reproduction crisis out there. In theory, you could try to replicate this study without the researcher being an asshole and see if it still works out and this would be a valuable line of research that could technically get funded.

I’m going to need a decent ship, some volunteers, and a 101 day supply of daiquiris.

Edit: (For clarity - this is scientific reproduction, not human reproduction)

Not so much in London, and usually you need to pay for the public ones.

We live in but a bright second, yet are determined to fill it with darkness unending.

The three pathways for most academics

Option 1 - shit out a large pile of bad (either misleading, over-sensationalised, or just clearly partial work) papers, but get funding to do the same for another year.

Option 2 - work hard to create a quality paper, run out of time, no more funding, off you go to industry.

Option 3 - take a teaching intensive role and never have any time for research, oh and also get paid less than in industry.

Truth is proof - I can neither prove the number of gods is >0, nor prove it is =0.

Thus cautious agnosticism (since the evidence suggests, if there is at least one god, then they really hate us).

Short Answer - Universities

Long Answer:

To get and hold a job as an academic, you must continually produce “high quality research”. To get the job, in the first place, you must also be seen to do this.

“High quality” is often metriced by universities to mean “published in high impact journals” and “well cited”. This metric is known to be faulty, but universities really dislike change.

So, to get a job, you have to give up your rights to your research, and to keep your job, you have to do likewise.

Worse, in the current financial climate, academia is seeing unprecedented cuts, which further entrenches this issue.

Tricky one to weigh up there. It might not be that you’re lazy, you may well just be burned out, not working effectively (i.e. overworking yourself), or it could even be imposter syndrome. On the other hand, yes you could just be lazy, or you might just really hate your job. Hell, there have been times where I’ve felt unmotivated because our leadership team were just arseholes - sometimes a lack of motivation goes beyond just your own choices.

There just isn’t enough data in a short post.

Take some leave, go get checked out by a doctor, talk to a friend/partner, take a look at job ads to see if anything sounds better than where you are.

The key concept they’re missing a lot of the time is that software sits within the file system and not the other way around.

This is largely because apps hide this and data is generally stored in one place on your phone (the downloads folder).

Best way to fix it - have 1–2 lessons entirely devoted to finding shit on their computer. My favourite activity is “ok, save your word file, close word, you now have 10 mins to find that file without opening word”.

Sure are a lot of suckers making policy over in the USA at the moment…

sudo rm -fr - -no-preserve-root

The magic spell that removes the woke mind virus, but only if used on the main twitter server as a high level admin user with full access.

Sounds like the dream to me - no more funding applications!

We also need irrational fucks for the complex field don’t we?

I need to put a vote in here for owlbears and owlcats, if only because of how excited they make my partner when encountered.

You just captured the daily life of a UK academic after the catastrophically low recruitment numbers this year.

I need a pasta of this for when I get asked to man the open day stall on a weekend…

I feel personally attacked by this!

“Oh so that’s where my remaining mental health and self esteem are!”

“Humans engaging in tongue combat to determine fitness of mate. Note the closed eyes, scientists believe this is because of how bloody this ritual could become; humans closed their eyes to keep the blood out.”