I had that same experience, too, many years ago doing the anti-depressant circuit.

Fascinating. Do you have sexual urges?

As for me, a lot of changes. Age being a big culprit for a lot of them. Since I posted last it hasn’t happened again. I’ve just chalked it up to being tired, stressed, and trying to make something happen my mind wasn’t really into at the moment.

Yeah, your experience more accurately reflects the term. I should have used the term ‘ejaculatory anhedonia’ or maybe a more generalized ‘orgasmic anhedonia’ but I couldn’t find a consensus on the terms online.

Of course, there’s probably a big difference between a pathological condition of being aroused, performing the sex acts in earnest, but not receiving pleasure from it and just having lousy sex you’re not into with partners who aren’t good at it. Or, like you said, you just can’t get there because the mental aspect is lacking.

Though I did note that, like men, there is evidence of women experiencing orgasms without pleasure, but it’s harder to observe. Sounds like a cop out to me. Sure it’s easy to spot some dude’s dribble, but you could easily measure vaginal contractions with a device.

No, try to stay off that stuff

What the murmurs in the void are saying.

Don’t try to figure it out. Just. Leave. It. Alone.

It’s layered.

At the base level it’s just a mix of a kind of old tv static and what sounds like a creek bubbling. It’s the pre-verbalization soup- textured with sub-thoughts, half-impulses, emotional currents. It’s noticeable background noise but not particularly loud.

Above that is another layer of multiple streams of wordage. Just kind of nonsensical whispers that flow around non-stop. Sometimes there are also impressions of images but nothing definitive. Emotional tones are strongest here.

Above that is the focused wordage, or the internal monologue. Usually it’s proposed point or observation by one “me” and counter-point or add-on by another “me”. There’s no set number of "me"s. Occasionally it’s a construct of some other people I know. Just tangential rambling in incomplete sentences mostly unless I am really trying to sort something out, then it’s more structured. There’s a part of my mind that seems to calculate the conclusion to what I am mentally verbalizing that is one step ahead of the words so often there isn’t a need to complete a thought. This is also where the music and images play.

There is one more layer above all that, the working space, when I really focus, all the other layers fade from consciousness, words are clear, sharp, and coherent and the back-and-forth feels more like a unified “me”, it’s also where I deliberately create and manipulate mental images, movies, concoct scenarios and music plays the clearest.