If your elephant needs pain relief, make sure to administer Tylenol orally.

Sulfer should be labeled “hell”.

Bacon, cheese, or peanut butter?

I did not click into this comments section expecting it to be worse than the image.

“3/4 pounds meat”

Not any particular kind of meat. Just “meat”.

Crocheting gloves for rancors.

Pee is stored in the balls.

5-MTHF.

“Release the Epstein files!”

If you’re going to start trouble, start good trouble.

They’re openly disdainful of all things Open Source and OSI, and their software is not Open Source.

They’re a fully for-profit company using consumer rights kind of rhetoric to manipulate people in service to FUTO’s own pocketbook. Don’t fall for their use of the .org tld or promises to “never abuse customers”.

I’ve written many times about what assholes FUTO is. I’m fully convinced they’re way more part of the problem than part of the solution and they’re not to be trusted.

They’ve soured me on Rossman. Back when he was doing coverage of things like the court cases around right to repair and tractors and stuff, I watched a few videos of his and thought he was awesome. And then he got involved with FUTO and started billing Grayjay as “Open Source” and I’ve gotten sufficiently disillusioned with FUTO that I haven’t followed Rossman at all. I’ve got coworkers changing their avatars to Clippy and shit, and I believe their hearts are in the right place, but I can’t in good conscience really get behind anything or anyone associated with FUTO.

Edit: Oh. I honesty didn’t even see this OP was a link to an article. Lol. Now I’m very interested to go read that article.

Edit 2: Shite. I’ve now read the article. I knew FUTO was assholes in a lot of different ways, but now I know how deeply, completely irredeemable they really are.

Na.

Anyone who mentions, acknowledges, or even doesn’t sufficiently attempt to ignore/deny my existence or influence in the world, anything they eat tastes and feels like eating raw, unseasoned egg whites for a month. And I’ll put knowledge of that fact in everyone’s minds.

Then I can do whatever I want to annoy the fuck out of people and they have to ignore me. Wet Willie Elon Musk in public while looking him right in the eye. Replace the audio at a Kid Rock concert with Baby Shark for the whole show and everyone has to pretend it was a typical Kid Rock concert. Draw dicks all over Trump’s face with a sharpie during a presidential address on live, national TV. Find every HOA president and kill grass in their front yard in the shape of Bevis and Butthead.

I wouldn’t be unreasonable. A wry, approving smile here. Stopping and reading an obscene message I planted before realizing it was me. Stuff like that gets a pass. I might even turn a blind eye to an involuntary case of the giggles brought on by my hijinks, particularly if it helps the vibe. Also, anyone under 15 is exempt from the whole egg whites thing and can laugh their asses off and point with impunity.

Silly OP. Humans don’t use em dashes.

At most, their word processor magically turns regular dashes into em dashes and they don’t care enough to change it back.

The heat death of the universe is expected in at most, say, 10¹⁰⁶ years.

So, 10¹⁰⁷ years. I’ll be an ancient, godlike entity far beyond the understanding of any living thing. Like an aboleth.

This is the way.

Regexes in bash commands are my nemesis.

Yes.

Right? Who gets death threats?

It’s just a distraction from the Epstein files.

Diaspora?