- 1 Post
- 13 Comments
It’s not my fault Tolkien has a quote for every possible mood
Nice, I understood that reference
I actually have serious doubts that plants grow better in the complex soup of fats and proteins that a body turns into. In fact I’m pretty sure I remember reading that the romanticized idea of turning your body into a tree after you die basically doesn’t work for this reason!
Ok well…I sustained an injury to the tip of my dick and it turns out that’s a location that rubs on the material of your boxers or pants all the time. So I was in pretty constant discomfort. Decided to try a bandaid, and of course the standard ones really don’t sit all that flush and they would just snag and pull off inside my underwear. Then I tried one of those waterproof ones and it conformed to the shape perfectly. “Don’t worry, you won’t forget about something attached to the tip of your penis,” I told myself. But damn if those things don’t sit so comfortably you completely forget they’re there. And by god let me tell you, the absolute shock, fear, and confusion a man can feel when he’s dick in hand, has relaxed all his bladder muscles, and fully expects to start peeing, only for some phantom-handed chokehold to hold it all back a half second after release…well it’s not something you’re likely to forget.
Just going to leave this link here for anyone coming into this thread looking for answers:
They’ll last through showers and they’re strong enough to hold your pee in. Don’t ask me how I know.
This is so outrageous that it feels like satire.
Please tell me it’s satire.
I think they’re just pointing out how Trump is fully just running an ad for Tesla. The President of the USA is hosting an event to sell cars for a poor baby billionaire who’s had to reckon with the consequences of his actions. Groceries, housing, and healthcare are more expensive than ever, people are dying from preventable diseases and mass shootings, people are being ripped from bathrooms or their homes to prove they’re allowed to be there, and our fucking president is telling us to quit being whiny babies and buy $60k+ cars from an obscenely rich guy who deserves to be shot by firing squad.