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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 13th, 2023

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    "Ivy, you know who I am at this point. Let me attest that most of these people don’t actually do shit. There are layers of layers of management and shareholders that allow the average generational wealth billionaire to extract extreme amounts of wealth without doing shit. That’s honestly a good thing in your case, because anyone who actually has the ability to make obscene money in this universe is either a superhero or supervillain, and you would have just walked into their secret hideout.

    If you do kill him, the best case scenario is a collection of hedge funds you never heard of divy up his controlling shares and keep business as usual flowing. The worst case is Luthor buys the company and makes everything a million times worse as step one in a convoluted plan to kill superman via kryptonite laced micro plastics. The most likely thing is one of those technically secret society orgs seizing control because at this point they just need some win. My money is on the Owls. They’ve been humiliated so many times they’ve been officially downgraded to “community advisory committee”.

    I honestly don’t even understand where this is coming from. You and Freeze both have blank checks from both WayneTech and Star Labs to continue your research. Either of you alone could reverse large portions of climate change. If you really wanted to go the vigilante route, you could have just mind controlled him. Darksied is planning an invasion, there are no less than three evil AIs rolling around, I’m dealing with two separate split personalities, and I haven’t heard from the Joker in a while which means we’re all probably fucked. Even if I did notice, it would take me literal years to get around to actually fixing it. It feels like you are doing this because on some level you want to fail, because that’s easier than doing the hard work required to fix the systemic abuses of our system "

    “…So I take it the Therapy’s working, huh Bruce?”

    “Sort of. It’s Batman”.

    “Actually technically right now you’re Nightwing. Care to explain that?”

    “It’s a long story. The short of it is that I’m pulling double duty because Dick somehow forgot how to fucking Jump and Jason took Damien out for “Beer and Cigarettes”, which I can only hope is literal because anything it would be a metaphor for would involve no less than two dozen corpses.”.

    “Jesus Christ and Harley said I was carrying too much stress. I’ll come back next week, get some rest Bruce”

    “Batman”

    "Nightwing "

    “…”



  • Be me (middle aged white woman, not that it matters)

    Be homeowner

    Be part of HOA

    Not really a huge fan but kinda hard to avoid these days

    whatever.jpg

    HOA pays for lawn care, so there’s that

    there’s supposed to be an area that they won’t touch if they see you planted your own stuff

    think it would be cool to grow some flowers

    Go up to lawncare guy and ask about it

    Looks confused, doesn’t speak English

    I get it, not his fault

    Asked four guys now, all don’t speak English

    Kinda frustrated, but again I get it

    see white guy (super pale)

    Assume that he’s from America because we live in Virginia

    Go up to him, tell him I’m happy I found someone who can speak English

    Looks at me and takes in what I’m saying. Seems like he can understand me

    starts speaking dutch

    Whatever.jpg

    Go inside

    Husband asks me what’s wrong

    Gladthatheshere.jpg

    tell him everything

    Tells me to not worry. He’ll go outside and won’t stop until he finds someone

    sosweet.jpg

    Comes back about thirty minutes later

    "Yeah most of them didn’t speak English, but there was one guy who was super helpful. Turns out he’s a university student making some cash over the summer "

    veryhappy.jpg

    “He’s actually from Holland, isn’t that weird?”

    mfw.


  • Man I’d hate being a young man today.

    Guys are put in a position where they have to put themselves out there and face rejection. it’s obviously becoming harder to connect with women given that a larger and larger percentage of men under 21 report being virgins every year.

    Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it’s all your fault and you’re a shitty person.

    I think I would have just ended up killing myself if I was a teenager today.