Linux nerd and consultant. Sci-fi, comedy, and podcast author. Former Katsucon president, former roller derby bouncer. http://punkwalrus.net/

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Cake day: June 22nd, 2023

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  • You got me. I think it was because our group was under one contract set of hires (I was an employee, but some of these people were still part of a contract), which is why we weren’t let go immediately. But sometimes you get some manager who doesn’t want the OLD people, but a FRESH NEW set of people. For example, when the entire QA department was let go an outsourcer, all the documentation we made was thrown out the window because “that was the old way!” And the next major software release was a disaster. And we were going from a 16 bit client (Windows 3.1x based) version to the new 32 bit (Windows 95/98-native) version, and the QA/testing was not really part of the process. “Who are these product testers, and why are they so negative about the product? LOSE 'EM! They only see mistakes, there’s no room for that kind of attitude, and it slows the whole release cycle down.”

    Corporate stupidity.


  • This is comedy gold. MANY years ago, late 1990s, my department was getting laid off, but due to some contract line items, they gave us 90 days to find a new job within the company and then blacklisted us, which was another bullshit thing. Then someone found in a job hiring seminar in a nearby convention center where our company had a booth. The seminar was free, so a bunch of us went.

    At the booth, we found out that they were interviewing for our jobs (QA testing engineers). Not a surprise, but they got excited when the first few of us were uniquely qualified (duh). But after the third person, that guy didn’t hide we still worked for our company. Someone from the HR team panicked when they realized the group of us were CURRENT employees. What made it even funnier was that not only was it the same QA testing jobs they needed to hire for, but the pay was about 20% greater than we were making.

    HR called corporate asking “what do we do???” Corporate said “SHUT THE BOOTH DOWN!!” A very weird reaction. Then we applied to other jobs at the fair, and when we left, the booth was still closed. The next day, those that interviewed got taken into a meeting room and cursed out by management for “that stupid stunt!” We asked, “so why are we being blacklisted?” “You’re not being blacklisted!” “Uh… nobody internally will return our calls, and we have found out that they were told not to return our calls due to a leaked email.”

    Oof. Oddly enough, i got a new job a few weeks later in the same company. So it kind of worked.




  • The DC Metro system has no public bathrooms. This causes problems, if you can imagine. I was starting my first week of work in Silver Spring, and as I was exiting the station, there was a woman in leather spandex stirrup pants yelling at the station manager she needed to use the bathroom. The station manager told her “we don’t have bathrooms, lady.” Back and forth as I passed them. Then the woman just said, “A-IIGHT!” backed up, pulled down the spandex, pulled aside her thong, squatted, and dropped a huge, coiling log right in front of the turnstiles.

    We had a homeless (?) guy named “Gandalf.” he was named that because he wore a stadium jacket with a broken zipper, tied at the waist with a rope, big floppy hat, and a cane. Used to rant in tongues. Near where I worked was the (now former) Discovery Building, and during “Shark Week,” they put a HUGE inflatable shark “through” the building (head on one side, tail on the other. This thing was stories high). Gandalf used to spend time across the street, shouting biblical phrases at it like he was banishing some demon. Thanks for keeping us safe, Gandalf.

    Before they build the STSS, there were “gangster types” that would hang around, gun handles poking from their waistbands. That stopped the DAY after football player Plaxico Burress nearly shot his dick off in a nightclub by having his gun stored in a similar way. Never saw guys flashing their gun like that since.



  • This sounds kind of sad, but bear with me. This was c. 1976-1980.

    My father was mostly absent, but I prefered his neglect to his abuse, so that was okay. He’d go on business trips a lot. My mom was an alcoholic, and sometimes she’d be passed out for days. I grew up an only child in a suburban home, and some weekends a year, I had the house to myself. From age 8-12, I had a few weekends here and there where fortune fell upon me and I’d be alone in the house with no real responsibilities. Friday night home from school to Monday morning going to school, all I had to do was check if my mother was still passed out, and if so, it was like one long vacation from my life to be myself. Bonus if there was still food in the house, which usually there was something I could cook myself.

    I wasn’t allowed to watch TV as a kid, except sanctioned PBS shows, but we had a small B&W TV in the kitchen for my mom’s soap operas and cooking shows. I’d drag up all my Legos, pour them on the kitchen table, and watch “illegal TV” all weekend while building stuff with my Legos. Eating when I wanted to, or not, and I had free reign of pretty much anything there.

    My positive childhood memories are scant and few, and most are just things like that. Like “sometimes the sun came out, if only for a brief time, before the storms returned.” I have a lot more as an adult.




  • They had a multimillion dollar transit project near where I loved, like $112 million to replace a train station, a subway stop, and a major bus terminal to combine them into a single entity near Washington DC. They projected 3 years from start to finish, but it took almost 7. They had to reroute the entire bus terminal to surrounding streets and parking garages, which was a traffic nightmare. People using the train station or subway had to reroute their walk sometimes up to a mile off their present walk. While doing demolition, they found that the previous bus terminal was on the site of an old gas station which had been improperly sealed off: they just filled the tanks with concrete. Underneath that, they found tons of the the natural mineral serpentine, which naturally contains asbestos. So now they had a biological hazard which they had spent the last few months blowing up with dynamite into the surrounding city. After that was cleaned up and sealed, The got underway.

    There were a ton of other mistakes, but when it was completed, they found defects. The superstructure is made of concrete and thus construction specifications were replete with engineering criteria for the composition of the concrete, and its pouring, curing and tensioning. The Inspector General systematically examined 22 project management and control points from the time concrete was mixed until the time it was ready for final inspection. 14 of 22 control points that should have minimized defects were weak or ineffective. Those defects may require recurring engineering inspections, higher maintenance costs, and they could shorten the planned 50-year useful life. In addition, the IG described the risk of concrete falling onto transit-center patrons.

    The entire thing was a huge boondoggle costing the downtown untold millions into the future.


  • I married my first wife when she was 18 and I was 20. We went through a lot of hardship. It should not have worked out: we were both poor, from broken homes, in an LDR from different worlds. She was the popular girl, I was a shy and awkward nerd. When we got married, we had only been in one another’s presence for a few weeks total. I went into the marriage not expecting a path or plan, as my parents were toxic which ended with my mother’s suicide, and my mother in law had been married 4 times before she became single for the last time. None of us had healthy marriages to draw from. At our wedding, her relatives even said, “I give it two years, tops.” We were desperately poor, and struggled most of our marriage with health and money issues.

    But we made it work for 25 years. We’d still be married, but she passed away ten years ago. We became “foxhole buddies,” us against the world.