Forking shirtballs, The Good Place has the best replacement words.

Fuck, which becomes Fork.
Shit, which becomes Shirt.
Bitch, which becomes Bench.
Ass, which becomes Ash.
Dick, which becomes Deck.
Cock, which becomes Cork.

Sometimes it’s like wiping a marker

Assume positive intent. Amazing how much lower stress your stress levels will be if you don’t feel attacked (on the road, on social media, in conversations, etc).

Oh yeah, and buy a bidet. Your bum will thank you.