ah yes, the Americanus

Saddam Hussein’s silhouette yoga.

Meet the new war

Same as the old war

mustard on the beat, yo

Not pictured: The dynamic and eternal back-and-forth in the comments section of that article where Wikipedia purist nerds do battle with Wikipedia’s cadre of silly gooses.

Purists hate that “cetacean” is used here and feel that the silly gooses are diluting the information on Wikipedia for a pun. They also complain that visitors to that page will be confused by the term, and that it will cause the social credit of Wikipedia as a whole to wane in the eyes of the world.

The gooses want the purist nerds to take a chill pill. I’m with the gooses. If the purists knew how often scribes in ancient times doodled pointless things like mounted snail combat and wildly exaggerated dick drawings on illuminated manuscripts then I’d presume they’d be okay with allowing a minor joke like this one, but I guess you can’t please everyone.

Coffee would have made me an apostate too. Damn, I love coffee. Live and drink, friend.

Hey, that guy is hogging all the happiness! Get him!

that phone bigger then he goddam he

The importance of coffee in this equation cannot be overstated. If you’re worried, try having a 12oz coffee plus lots of water an hour or two before your appointment. Don’t hold it in all day before the appt, you might hurt yourself. Just goose your waterworks with coffee and stay well hydrated before going in and you should be fine.

Also, doctors know about bashful bladders so just let them know you might be a minute. You may also be able to collect a sample at home if you discuss it with them first(don’t roll up to your doctor today with a cup of unasked-for pee). You’ve got options. Just when you’re in the moment, relax and let the coffee do the work.