Lovable Sidekick

Someday all food will be in cubes. Some day.

Trump should know how to recognize tapping people along, it’s one of his signature moves, right up there with tax fraud, stiffing creditors and strategic bankruptcy.

Why does a calculator need my fucking email address? We’re not pen pals, just do this arithmetic.

You been sliced!

Also are the Rolling Stones involved? Asking for a friend.

It’s true, I can’t even put away a million krill before I start feeling like a glutton.

Maybe it’s the same normal human inconsistency as those of who support public health care and basic income, but ironically still buy stuff from capitalists.

Can I mambo dogface to the banana patch?

For decades these pens have been brought up to criticize wasteful spending, inaccurately. Fisher Price didn’t even develop the pens for NASA, they were just a sales gimmick, and NASA didn’t spend thousands of dollars each on them, they just bought them. Space flight was getting a lot of publicity back then, so products that related themselves to space were popular, like Space Food Sticks - tootsie-rollish snacks supposedly full of protein and nourishment. To me they tasted too much like raw flour. “Energy” of course was a euphemism for sugar.

Gorram right!

Zoidberg’s distant ancestor. Or maybe recent, hard to tell.

3.5 cm pupils? I’ve heard of “wide-eyed” but this is ridiculous!

But I never knew a “league” was 3 miles. That’s like, a lotta football fields!

And real quantum computers look like overdone sci fi props.

“Now let’s eat one VERY last cookie,” said Toad.

“Skiing is not hard, it’s mostly gravity.” - the alien on Resident Alien

That wouldn’t be a “doctorate” of divinity by any chance would it? The one I got in high school cost five bucks.

As a kid I used to dream that I could levitate by sort of straining my muscles upward and lifting myself away from the ground. It would be pretty cool to do that IRL.

Holy crap, my only ambition was lovely parting gifts!

Jerry Hathaway still wants 5 megawatts by mid-May.

At one of my first jobs we had a big printer that kept jamming in mid-job. Every time our in-house techs showed up it would start working again. Eventually one of the guys taped a wallet-size photo of his face inside the cover of the printer so it was looking at the print head. That machine never jammed again!