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You don’t have the sense God gave a popsicle
I bite my thumb at you.
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.
You’ve got more teeth than braincells
You haven’t got two braincells to rub together
I have neither the crayons nor the inclination to explain it to you.
I work with an older lady who hits people with “you’re so pretty” when they do or ask something stupid and I love it.
I saw one here the other day calling someone a soup fork. I’ve been using that for people who are completely useless.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”
Beat me to it
Big fan of a slow disapproving head shake and a thumbs down. Especially in road rage situations (or any time I see a Cybertruck).
I only recently discovered the power of the thumbs down in the car. It is magical.
“Sorry, I already have a boyfriend/girlfriend.”
Implying that everything they said or had done was to get your romantic attention.
It was trending a few years ago but never caught on fully.
Still good.
I love how you don’t let facts influence your opinion.
No one could possibly have a higher opinion of you than I have.
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I blame the alcohol, not what you drank tonight but what your mother drank while pregnant with you
Chuckle and as you walk away, and under your breath but just loud enough to hear, say “eyebrows” in a way that sounds like you were amused and thinking about how it amused you. They will think about that for years, as I have been
Did your mother have any children that lived?
