This is why the “secret scientists don’t want you to know” always turns out to be some pseudoscience bs that at best is misinformation and at worst is actively harming people. So, yes, they are things scientists don’t want you to know.

Clearly those aren’t real scientists. Real scientists have secret labs, where they do secret research.

My friends are political science guys. They’re just all getting blind drunk and muttering right now?

That secret being ‘the oil/sugar/etc lobby paid me to create this fake study to mislead you.’

Unfortunately, real scientists have become lumped in with “industry shills paid to science the way industry wants them to science”.

Wtf, I’ve never heard of this bug in my entire life, and just last week I took a picture of one. Google Lens comes up with Brown Marmorated Stink Bug, and I didn’t think it would ever run into this tidbit of info ever again.

Gotta love when the conspiracy is so stupid that it’s the people who dedicated their lives to building and spreading human knowledge are the ones keeping the knowledge away from Joe public.

You know how Trump has been called the poor person’s idea of a rich person? I’m trying to think of the caricature they use for “scientist” in their minds. Maybe a woke Joe Rogan?

I can only hope the changing mating habit is that they’ve all stopped mating. I hate those damn bugs.

They’re invasive where I live, and it seems like they don’t really have predators. And they’re so damn loud when they fly around inside your house. And they smell awful if you startle them or squish them. Only thing I can do is catch them in a cup and flush them down the toilet.

It’s a secret rouse so you won’t suspect the stuff that they don’t tell you and get together every few months to co-ordinate keeping under wraps.

There’s one thing they aren’t screaming about: how free will is a myth. It’s a topic that gets shot down a lot.